Frankly, Francine

Francine provides sarcastically thoughtful advice to the cooking challenged.

Francine provides guidance to lost cooks and frustrated bakers. With her cat eye glasses and herFrankly Francine Signature string of pearls, Francine channels Jackie O and Phyllis Diller in her quirky responses.

Francine’s answers combine a bit of schoolmarm etiquette and some sassy vocabulary with some real world advice on cooking and dealing with life’s problems.

If you have a question you would like Francine to answer, you may send an email to Francine@ApronFreeCooking.com.  She will respond to inquiries as quickly as she can and post the question and answer here online. Due to the volume of questions, Francine will be unable to respond to your email directly. So check the website for your answer.

Frankly Francine! Exploding Margarine

Posted on by
Reply

Dear Francine, I have so many recipes that call for melted margarine. I’ve tried to melt the margarine as quickly as possible. But I haven’t found a good efficient way to have the butter melted when I need to add it to the recipe. The last time I tried to melt it in the microwave, it exploded all over the inside of the microwave oven. It took me an hour to clean that mess up. I went through an entire roll of paper towels in the process. Can you tell me what the best way to melt margarine or butter would be? Dynamite Cook   Dear Dynamite, You tested the heating properties of oil and the expansion qualities it has when heat is applied.  There are several ways you can melt butter that would be less messy. First thing you could do is place the butter in a small pan on the stove top burner. Heat it on low and wait patiently. The second method you could try involves the microwave and the defrost button. Set the defrost time for 20 seconds at a time and watch closely. The third and probably safest method is to let the butter set … Continue reading →

Frankly Francine! Speed Eating Children

Posted on by
Reply

Dear Francine, I have two children. One is as neat as a pin and is always using his best manners. The other is the exact opposite. At dinner, we encourage both children to eat slowly, chew with their mouths shut and use all their good manner words. However, the second child eats so fast he will have a trail of crumbs and food bits all around the edge of the plate on the placemat. Food will be smeared on his face. When chewing, food is visible inside his mouth. We have tried rewards for good manners. But he doesn’t seem interested in earning the reward. We tried scolding, but that just backfires. We have avoided going out to eat because of this behavior. What do you suggest? Speed Eaters Mom   Dear Speed’s Mom, It sure sounds like you have your hands full. I imagine the reason your scolding hasn’t worked is because the other sibling chimes in and then your efforts are divided. I would guess the rewards weren’t sufficiently enticing, or they would have worked. You don’t say how old the children are, but judging from your frustrated tone, they’re old enough to know better and not babies. … Continue reading →

Frankly Francine! Internet Trust Fund Boyfriend

Posted on by
Reply

Dear Francine, I met a man on an internet dating site. He seemed to be everything that I was looking for. He’s smart, good looking, and funny. He moved in with me a while ago because he had been living in a friend’s basement since he moved into our state. He has been driving one of my cars to his job, and gives me some money towards groceries. My problem is that he doesn’t help out with any chores around the house, doesn’t pay any of the utility bills and is always asking me for spending money. He says he has a trust fund that is tied up in court and when he gets that he’ll pay me back.  My 14 year old son does a better job of taking responsibility for chores and covering his own expenses. How do I get this man to chip in around the house and carry his weight? ~Home Loving Mother Dear Mother, It sounds like you found yourself a first class mooch. This fellow has a habit of living in other people’s houses and riding in their cars, but not taking charge of himself. The best way to get your house clutter free … Continue reading →

Frankly Francine! Likes Sofa Over There

Posted on by
Reply

Dear Francine, My wife and I live just a few blocks from her parent’s house. At first this seemed like a great idea. We both work out of town and thought it would be good for her parent’s to have a key in case of emergencies. However, they apparently have a different idea of what constitutes an emergency than we do. Twice in the last few months, we’ve come home to discover that Mom has rearranged our entire living room furniture and decorations. The first time this happened, we didn’t say anything; we just put things back where we liked them. The second time, we asked for our key back and then put things back in place. Now the folks are upset with us and claim that we don’t trust them. This is causing a huge problem for my wife and I don’t know how to get back to a good relationship. ~ Likes the Sofa Over There   Dear Sofa, Wow. Perhaps you and your wife have arranged the furniture to prohibit conversation and TV watching, or maybe your mother in law thinks she’s an interior decorator. Martha Stewart is asked to rearrange the furniture and she’s pretty good … Continue reading →

Frankly Francine! Tired of Burnt Rolls

Posted on by
Reply

Dear Francine, Every time I bake dinner rolls in my oven, instead of turning a golden brown, they burn to a crisp. I use the timer. I grease the sheet. I watch them like a hawk. And the tops are barely done and the bottoms are black. My family is tired of eating only the top half of the rolls. I’m tired of tossing the black parts into the yard for the birds to eat. How can I keep from burning rolls for the next family dinner? ~ Burnt Out   Dear Burnt, Dinner rolls can be a touchy thing. The best approach is to do the things you’re already paying attention to. The first thing you’ll want to do is get an oven thermometer and double check the temperature settings. Sometimes ovens will have 350 on the dial but only heat to 325, or over heat to 375. That could be a problem. The next step is to adjust the oven racks. If you’re burning to bottoms and the tops are not done, that tells me you have a bottom heating oven. It also tells me the rack is too close to the heat source. By moving the rack … Continue reading →

Frankly Francine! A Brontosaurus Vegetarian

Posted on by
Reply

Dear Francine, My son, who is five years old, is a big fan of dinosaurs. Like many boys his age, he has a collection of dinosaur toys and books. We read from the books nearly every night. Lately he has taken to pretending to be some of the dinosaurs we’ve read about when he plays. Last night, at the dinner table, I asked him to eat some of his meat, since he hadn’t taken a bite yet. He looked at me and as serious as can be said, “I’m a brontosaurus and I don’t eat meat.” How do I argue with a fact like that? What can I do to get him to eat a balanced meal when he’s reciting line and verse from the books I’ve read to him? ~Paleo Vegetarian   Dear Paleo, Wow. You have quite the intelligent child there. He’s a bit of a snot too, it sounds like. I’m afraid that you’re asking one of parenthood’s greatest questions. How to argue with a child who has all the facts will go down in history as a lost cause. The reason you can’t win this type of argument, is simple. You don’t have enough energy to … Continue reading →

Frankly Francine! Veggies in the Soup

Posted on by
Reply

Dear Francine, My husband was asking me to make a bean soup last week. I found a recipe for ham and bean soup last week. We’re trying to eat less meat and since I’m leaving out the ham from this recipe, I’ve got a problem about how to make this soup more than beans and broth. I want to add some vegetables to the soup. But I’m not sure what kind of vegetables to add. Can you tell me what kind of vegetables go in bean soup? ~Meatless   Dear Meatless, I’m not sure what kind of recipe you’re following for your bean soup, but a soup made from only beans, ham and broth sounds a bit dull to me. Most bean soups have potatoes, carrots and onions in them. You can add some celery, mushrooms and a bit of garlic if you like. What veggies do you have in the house? What veggies do you want to eat? Put them in there. There’s no law that says you only have to use certain vegetables together, you can mix them up as much as you like.  … Continue reading →

Frankly Francine! Disliked Daughter In Law

Posted on by
Reply

Dear Francine, With the holidays just over, I have to say that I’m not sure I handled things with my in-laws very well. It’s obvious to me that they don’t like me. We attended two family events and I wish I hadn’t gone at all. My mother-in-law insisted that I attend a family dinner at a restaurant on Friday evening, and then spent the whole time ignoring me and whispering to her sister about how awful a person I was. The second event was a gathering at my mother-in-law’s house. Both of my in-laws made rude comments about me in front of my kids. They also had gifts for everybody in attendance and made a point of saying “oops we forgot you” when they didn’t have a gift for me. How can I gracefully excuse myself from future gatherings? ~ Disliked Daughter-In-Law   Dear Daughter-In-Law, While I can’t say what the best way to excuse yourself might be, it does sound like you should avoid these people as much as possible. I appreciate that you are probably trying to keep the peace in your own home by going with your husband to family get togethers. But you aren’t doing yourself any … Continue reading →

Frankly Francine! They have Elbows on the Table

Posted on by

Dear Francine, I’ve been trying to teach my children some table manners. They do just fine with the please and thank you part of manners. But I can’t get them to sit up straight and keep their elbows off the table. I’m discouraged that I spend each night eating with slouched over, sullen children. How can I get them to adjust their posture? ~Bent   Dear Bent, The first thing you have to remember is to compliment your children on the things they are doing right. Please and Thank You will go a long way towards making them better people. The second thing you need to do is decide how much nagging you are going to do. I would suggest that you limit yourself to a couple reminders each meal. You’ll drive yourself up the wall if you insist on saying “Sit Up Straight” every time you see somebody slouched over their plate. If you want to take a more militant approach, you may keep a yardstick on hand. Every time a youngster places their elbows on the table, you can reach out with the yardstick and give the offending elbow a sharp swat. This Dickensian tactic will likely cause … Continue reading →

Frankly Francine! Melted Mugs

Posted on by

Dear Francine We have a co-worker who is a bit of a ditzy girl. She’s as kind as can be and we all like her. Our problem is that she is a coffee drinker and we all share a microwave. Sharing the microwave isn’t a problem, but the metal cups are. We have gone through three microwaves in the last year due to her mistake. She places the metal cups in the microwave and the result, is a big zapped lump of a cup and a shorted out appliance. How can we insure that we don’t have this happen again? ~Zapped   Dear Zapped, I’m afraid you won’t be able to grant this girl with any Einstein level wisdom. I do understand your concern for the office staff’s safety and expense budgets, however. Electrical fires are very dangerous and can quickly get out of control. It is very important that you are able to curb her melting coffee cups. The best thing you can do, would be to take up a collection and buy her some ceramic mugs. Those metal and plastic travel mugs work wonderfully in cars, but not so well in offices. Maybe the manager would be willing … Continue reading →